Just Saying

 

Okay, so i grew up liking girls. Not in a normal, usual, puberty kind of way, nah, it was way more extreme than that. In fact, i think i was born an adolescent. I remember my first kiss was in nursery one, the image is still embedded in my medulla.  If youre not interested in the story, scroll down abeg, thank you.
I remember we used to sit in twos. A boy and a girl on every bench (bad idea, by the way...). forgive me if i cant remember the time, or plot(who cares sef?), all i recall is, one day in class, i got up from my seat, and sat an the chic’s laps. Then i devoured her lips. I dont recall being stopped, scolded, or reported by any teacher, so my best guess is, there was none around (na from small i don gangster)....

What’s the moral of the story? ...there’s none. I just needed you to understand how “sick” i was as a kid.

However, growing up, girls never used to like me. You know all those movies where there’s a fine boy every girl in class is dying for, and that fine boy has a shy fat friend who just crushes on the girls that are crushing on his best friend? I was that fat boy, no, really, i was fat, literally.

I would crack a really funny joke, my friend would laugh, but the girl i was trying to impress would be mute, giving my best friend that star struck stare. Then my friend would make the exact statement i made, in a far less hilarious way, and the girl would burst out in laughter. Now get this, it’s not that the girl didnt the get the joke, nah, she didnt just hear me tell it, as far as girls in class were concerned, i was deaf, dumb, and invisible, period.

Consequently, i assumed that girls would only fall for fine guys (i’m a fine boy, by the way, i didnt just realise it at the time...just sayin’), or rich dudes, or athletes....you get my point.  As a result, my “dating life” (cuz there’s no such thing as a “love life”) started pretty late.

I lost my virginity at 21. I’m sorry if i told you girls anything else just to sound cool, but this is the truth. Even that first time sef, well....let’s not go into that right now.

My point is, i didn’t realise, until a little later that ...no girl, (and im repeating this for emphasis) I mean, NO GIRL is out of your league. And im not about to give you that “it’s the guys chasing them....” crap.

I’m saying, it doesn’t matter if dangote is dating a chic, you can still get her to fall for you.  There’s only one thing you need....PATIENCE

The “patience is a virtue”adage is not beans . Patience is what most guys dont have, and that’s why that girl would turn you down. Let’s go into the crust of the matter, follow me....

There are three basic steps in getting a girl

·         
           Get noticed

Please note, i didnt say be looking for attention up and down ooooo. I said “get noticed”, or how else is a chic supposed to like someone she doesn’t even know exists? Now, what you do to get her attention is totally your problem.  Understand, that it doesn’t have to be the girl’s attention you target, you may draw the attention of a crowd, as long as she’s in it. Feel me?

So if it takes stepping up your game to get noticed, thats what you should do. If it takes dying and coming back from the dead, you might need skibii’s contact.

You might just holla at her the next day and she goes like “wait, youre that guy that nearly drowned, right?” gbam! Mission accomplished!!

·         Get, and stay in her space

Im not saying you should be stalking another man’s daughter. Just study her. Know where she likes to be at. And build your house there, (metaphorically, of course...olodo). Be all up in her face. And if she’s the indoor type, you might be needing whatsapp or bbm. This is where you need some level of flow. Learn how to start conversations that keeps a chic interested. Starting the conversation is easy, controlling it, in such a way that she sees a necessity in exchanging numbers..thats the hard part.

Now get this, if you manage being in her space well enough, the contact exchange might just come on a platter of gold, otherwise, dedication is the key.

·         Get her respect

This is where most guys fail. Every girl has that need to feel comfortable. They want to be able to talk, laugh, and express themselves without any hindrance. This is the environment you should create when you’re with any chic. Some girls are wild, carefree, and just wanna fool around. If that’s the kinda girl she is, bros, fool around. Some girls are reserved, serious minded and just want to have intelligent conversatons. If that’s the kinda girl she is, you got work to do. If she’s a church girl, you better step up your scriptural game. But shay boys have time ni? Who she epp???  I know, i know, trust me. But the truth is, whatever category she falls in, there’s that part of her that will get drawn to you, the moment she senses that ease and comfort. And when a girl wants to be with you often, baba wetin remain?

Okay, that being said, if you like, go and be forming “a shoulder to cry on”, cape up and superman yourself into the friendzone, or worse, family zone, na you sabi. You have to be in control, dont get carried away. When she’s comfortable enough, let her know (doesnt have to be verbally) that youre into her. This is very important. She must know.

Be unpredictable. Being un-cliche, if there’s any word like that, is one of the most attractive things in the world. To both sexes, trust me. Keep her guessing. That thing be like enzyme, a catalyst to the hormones. The moment you begin to get boring and predictable, she’s gone. You go just notice say she busy noni, and you go con dey one corner dey form vex, or “if she’s for me, she’ll come back to me”...odeh.

Another thing is, don’t start forming “i too know” o, it’s a major turn off for most girls. Act stupid once a while. Allow her to teach you what you already know, and complement her for it. Yesssss, that is very important. Compliments, even unnecessary ones, as long as you sound sincere.

What else? Uhh, yeah, please note, that if she has a boyfriend that does all these, just give up, and go fishing. Dont waste your time, or pray that he gets complacent and slips up. Otherwise, she’s on lockdown.

Finally, not every guy has to go through these pain. Not every dude needs patience. Some guys just ooze charisma. These kinda guys dont require the patience you and i have to build up, so do not, i pray thee,  compare yourself to them. After a while, when these steps i mentioned become a part of you, you sef go turn principality. Your charisma and swagger go spike. But before then my brother, jejely stay in your lane, and take the long route. It pays off eventually.

 Also note, that there are girls that get into you, the moment they see or notice you.  If you know a chic like that, dont go and be forming patience ooo, eh ehn. Ive said my own.

I just shared my knowledge, its application is your part. I don’t know how to share wisdom. So go ye forth, and get for thyself that woman, in whom thou art well pleased.

 

Disclaimer:

Everything i say, is based on my observations and personal experiences. im subject to correction. I dont know everything, so if you try my moves and they backfire, well, dont blame me.

....just sayin’

-Layinka_ hovaflow (Son of a pastor)