Stay Single, Until You Get Married - Jus Sayin' #7

So recently one chic and I decided to play the game all of us (including you) play when we're in the mood to do rubbish...*rolls eyes* - truth or dare.

She asked me, "what part of a woman attracts you the most?", and probably because of the atmosphere at the time, I gave a really shallow answer... - "boobs".

It wasn't until later that i realized I'd lied. Don't get me wrong, I think boobs are awesome, but a girl's brain is what turns me to mumu, literally.
For one, the five shortest relationships I've had were all with busty girls. The shortest lasted about a week. lol. In fact, the most serious relationship I've been involved in, was with a chic that wasn't anything close to busty (she had boobs o, eh ehn, but it's not the kind of boobs that would make you want to be born again #punIntended).

Now, I remember I started to really get fond of her because we could talk about absolutely anything. We conversed on a hurricane katrina level of flow. She got my punchlines, even when i wasn't aware i had dropped one. Our convo would go like:
Her - "Yinka, you're a pain in the ass, I wonder why I love you sef"
Me - "It's cuz you're a perv na"
Her - "Oyaaaaaaaaaaa....Punchline!!!!"

Now it'll take some of you (even guys), at least five minutes (for some of you, a few weeks. lol) of brainstorming to get that cypher, and that, my people, is why I'd fall for her type. If we were still together, we'd have probably analyzed Donald Trump's destiny finish, but we ain't, that's why I'm talking to you guys instead *sobs*.

After careful observation, it occurred to me that everyone of us need the same thing in a relationship.- Someone to talk to, without getting bored. A partner with at least, the same level of I.Q. Someone that gets your jokes instantly, without having to explain it to them. Someone that can fake being your sister (or brother), with ease. Someone who's just as smart, or dumb as you are.

It takes too much effort for a Leonard - Penny relationship to work in real life, ask Sheldon Cooper.
(If you're a girl, and you enjoy The Big Bang Theory, call me...I want to build a home with you).

Oya back to the matter *in wizzy's voice*.....

Most relationships begin to have issues when one, or both parties start to feel like they're wasting time with the other person.
Recall when you guys just started dating, and the Initial Gra Gra was still strong? 5 hours would fly by, and you'd be wondering "ah, but I just got here 5 minutes ago!"
Now, after a few months, or years, you'd rather watch Arsenal's match, than stay home with her...or you'd rather gossip with your friends, than hang out with him...cuz his wahala is too much. lol

It's normal, because we all make similar mistakes. I see a chic, she has really nice lips, so I think I'd never get tired of kissing her, and because of that, I start asking her out.
You see a dude, he's tall, dark and handsome, probably has a ride, and he makes you laugh, sometimes...so because he likes you too, you're thinking you should give it a shot....odeh ni eh....sorry, we're both odehs.

Now, unless you're just looking to have fun, while away time or get over an ex, you need to look beyond what you see.

In those days, when you ask a chic what she wants in a man, the first thing she'll say is "God-fearing". Lol. Even satan is God-fearing na

Anyways, patience is key. The guy you're likely to last really long with, is not the guy that had to beg you to date him. In fact, the longer he was able to hold off, after confirming the chemistry between you two, the longer your relationship is likely to last.

A long lasting relationship therefore has two basic symbiotic components. Communication, and maturity. One is more or less useless without the other.
I want to be able to talk to you, nonstop, about anything and everything, even your flaws, without getting into a fight and vice versa.
We need to get to this level BEFORE we get into a relationship. In fact, this is supposed to be the indication that we're compatible.
The mistake we make is, we think a relationship is for "getting to know each other better"....Nahhh, a relationship is meant for people who already know each other well enough to take their friendship to the next level.
So if you see her, you like her, she'd know, even by the way you treat her, therefore, instead of asking her out almost immediately, get comfortable with her, in her comfort zone, see her flaws, and see if you can handle it...allow her to see yours, and see if she can handle it.
If you complement each other, and ultimately make each other better, then you can go for it.

It's a pity however, that most of you girls get to a certain comfortable level with a guy, only to friendzone him, all in the name of "we're too close, I don't want to lose our friendship...". So another nigga is boo, and that one does all the smashing, while your Mr. Right does all the listening, loving and encouraging, from the zone...crazy shiii.

Now I'm an advocate of friendship with benefits (please don't tell my dad). This is because, like I stated earlier, most times we get into relationships for the wrong reasons...friendship with benefits would help in that department. For example, let's assume I eventually approached my pink-lipped crush, we become friends, and then one day, we made out. If we continue making out, and a time comes when I begin to miss her for other reasons other than just the make-out sessions, then maybe, just maybe we have a shot.


Shay you get my point?

The idea behind my opinion is, let everybody be single. Let every single guy, have an equal chance to marry every single girl, until either of them is off the market.
The whole "I like you, but I have a boyfriend/girlfriend" thing is caging, and limits our full potential.

Plus, wouldn't it be an amazing thing to have a wife/husband, with no exes?

I'm just sayin'.....








- 'Layinka