Just Saying 2

 
I LOVE YOU
 That sentence used to mean just one thing :  “you’re the unlucky person that finally decided to date me”

Now it’s a whole different ball game. It means different things, depending on the context or circumstance. Don't start fronting like you don't know what I’m talking about... or why else do you feel bad when you say “I love you”, and boo is like “uhh....okay”, or barely whispers “i love you too”?

I recall a convo i had with an ex, while we were still together (I’m single, by the way...), after a really juicy fifteen minutes of talking, we said our goodbyes and then she hit me with the three-word magnum “...i...love...you”,and me, i was with my pops (wait...was it my pops?...doesn’t matter jhor...), i froze, and was like “you say??....uhh...yeah....you too”. Hmm, my brethren in the Lord, this matter marked the beginning of the end of that relationship.

Recently i was with a friend, we were playing FIFA 17 when his chic called. Apparently, he’d been trying to reach her, but her phone was off, so he’d sent her a text, like all you “caring” boos do. She explained that HER BATTERY had been LOW SINCE MORNING, and her neighbor, FRANK, put on his GENERATOR.

I didn't tell him this, but i know many guys named “Frank”, and ALL of them have GENERATORS, majorly so that they can assist in CHARGING LOW BATTERIES...which is not a bad thing, at least, it’s their own way of giving back to the society, abi?....

Anyways, after talking for a while (and dulling my FIFA spirit...) as he was about to end the conversation with his chic, bros was like “okay, so i’ll talk to you later...LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU”. I cant say what happened exactly, i sha know that  the line disconnected. Hmm.....

Now i understand that “charging your battery”may mean many things, but hey, WE WERE PLAYING FIFA, for crying out loud! (that’s why, till date, i don't care who you are, if you’re in a serious relationship, you and i ain't gon play FIFA....). My  n**ga called back o, he had already started saying “i said i love you...”, when he realized that the chic talking was saying “...your account is too low for this call, you can borrow airtime.....”. Brethren, i kid thou not, this brother got up, left me in the room, and went to gaan buy credit!.....I don’t know where it ended, cause I locked my room before he got back.

What’s the point? I don't get why you’d decide to be tied down with somebody you cannot trust. Baba, if i cannot vouch for a chic, to the extent that if even i saw her in a sextape, i  can confidently say “that’s  not my girlfriend...”, dating her doesn’t make any sense. Feel me?

I also don't understand, when people feel like they always have to say stuff. I seem to be the only one on this planet that has noticed that in our generation, saying “i love you”doesn’t mean shit! Personally, i find it very easy to say it to any random chic, at any point in time, but extremely difficult to say it to a chic i actually really like, not because its hard for me to say or anything, but because i have learned, in the hardest of ways, that WORDS RUIN EVERYTHING. Even the bible says ”for the letter killeth....”

Love, when you try to describe or label it, puts it in a box. You limit its power. Allow it to grow. When the time comes to say it, you’d be pretty much stating the obvious.

I know a dude, that was with a chic. They did everything...from hanging out, to making out, to the “other room”.  This chic was even cooking for him, steady. After a weekend of the normal rendez vous, she went to her hostel, and called to inform him. That’s how our uncle went to gaan say “....alright dear, see you tomorrow,i love you...”. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, not only did he not get the expected “i love you too”, they did not see the next day, or any other day, to this day...

She freaked out, for whatever reason.

If you ever feel like you have to say how you feel , at every given point in time, or tell bae everything that happens to you (especially when you know he/she has insecurity issues...), you’re shortening the lifespan of your relationship. Most of you,you're not married o, you wee now gaan be forming “i want to have a completely honest relationship”, or “i can tell my boo anything”, or “we don't have secrets, we dont hide anything from each other...” lol...odeh.

Your boyfriend knows George, you know that he feels intimidated by George, and one night George was vomiting and all, so you, being mother Theresa, decided to take it upon yourself to cook for George, so that George can use his drugs...good geh. I don’t now know the ovation you thought you’d receive from bae, when you decided to give him details. If you guys run out of stuff to say, end the call na, or just shut the f**k up, or  see a movie , abi? Mtcheww.

 

Isn't it funny, how something you used to say to each other, and laugh off while you were friends, suddenly becomes a big deal as soon as the “boyfriend/girlfriend” label becomes active? Expectations hit the roof, standard of errors become impossible, and forgiveness becomes one of the seven wonders of the world...(or are they eight?, whatever...)

I need you to do a small experiment. Think of all the break ups you’ve had, or the ones someone you know has had, try and discover the root of the problem. 75% of the time, there’s usually a “he (the boyfriend) said...”, or “she (the girlfriend) said...” something, somewhere. Even those that cheated, the boyfriend.....or girlfriend, probably got caught because he/she said the right thing, at the wrong time.

One bros was making out with his girlfriend, and as sharp multi-tasking n**ga, he unhooked his chic’s bra with one hand and was like “that was easier than the last time....”. His chic stopped abruptly, looked at his face and was like...”this is the first time I’m wearing a bra to your  place...” lobatan. You and i will agree, that while the bros may wiggle his way out of that situation, things would have gone a lot smoother, if he had just shut the hell up.

So many potential marriages have been truncated due to premature discharge of words... Chill na, lemme explain, thank you...

So me and a friend (a chic) were seeing a movie, and I’m not sure if was the weather, or the movie, or sheer fate, we sha kissed....like Russian kiss, it was epic! Now, most of my relationships started this way...after i discovered i couldn’t get enough of such kisses, things got serious and so on, and so forth. Now this chic could have been the one,but no, she had to transform a really wonderful and promising make out session to an interview...”Yinka, what are we doing?” (we’re speaking in tongues...rubbish!); “Yinka, do you feel anything for me?”; “Yinka, what happens to our friendship?”...She didn't know it at the time, but we would start to fall apart from that day...and i really liked her...*sobs*

Action speaks louder than words. Words require actions as back up, never the other way around. If you feel the compulsive need to keep saying something to prove that you’re real, then you’re probably not doing something well  enough. And if you're obsessed with hearing stuff just to be sure of where you stand, your insecurity needs to lose weight, and your self esteem needs fertilizer.

However, there are times when you need to set some records straight. When such needs arise, do the needful. When you get stuck, don't be tempted to talk your way out, keep quiet, it’s easier to swallow unspoken words.

That said, life’s short. If you're enjoying a moment, enjoy it. Don't try to label or define it. Things usually work out at the end of the day. If it was not meant to be, it’s not whatever you say they'll fix it, trust me.

 

Disclaimer:

Everything i say, is based on my observations and personal experiences. I'm subject to correction. I don't know everything, so if you try my moves and they backfire, well, don't blame me.

....just sayin’

-Layinka_ hovaflow (Son of a pastor)